Monday, July 17, 2006

Child Care Central! Posted by Picasa
Tori, Hope, Bensha and Timo  Posted by Picasa

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Heading out to the village again to encourage Aja Christians....these guys have been having a great time together. What a gift to serve the Lord here together this week. These 3 men all speak fluent Aja. And Murphy Crowson gets here tomorrow and that will make 4. More pictures to come this weekend with the Crowson family here too! Posted by Picasa
On your mark get set GO!!! Posted by Picasa
Having some fun contests with each other Posted by Picasa
Pushing big brother Posted by Picasa
Lael Posted by Picasa
Jonathan Posted by Picasa
The Baileys and Tori took a taxi into Azove to show the girls market day and to take a look at their old house! Posted by Picasa
We have a great tire swing in front of our house! Posted by Picasa
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Hope and Tori have really hit it off...really fun that they have matching dresses, thanks to Melanie! Posted by Picasa

Friday, July 14, 2006

Detailed Update on Lael's Adoption

FRIDAY JULY 14 2006
 
The Saga continues....
 
Today, I returned with Ega and a truck full of his family members who acted as witnesses to his identity.  We arrived in Lokossa around 9:30a where the regional tribunal is.  Upon arriving, we were told the President of the Tribunal was not there and that he had a meeting in Cotonou.  We pleaded with his secretary to call him...she finally agreed.  She rang and rang and rang yet no one picked up.  "He must already be on the road," she explained.  This was disappointing because he had told us just Wednesday to return on Friday.  But we waited and waited another hour and then finally he called.  No, he was not yet on the road, and he would be in shortly.  So about 11a, he strolls in and asks to see me and Ega's "runner" named Fabian.  (Fabian is also a crippled man...but he walks with a cane....while Ega is VP, Fabian is the President of the Handicapped Persons Association in Aplahoue). Fabian speaks French (Ega does not) and has been a godsend to help do the running around on Ega's behalf to this Tribunal.  The President of the Tribunal started out his conversation with an apologetic tone which made me nervous.  He was explaining that another important person at the Tribunal had to be present to sign off on the documents.  So he said we wouldn't be able to do anything today and for us to return next week.  Frustrating!  I pleaded with him on Ega's behalf.  I explained the situation and asked for his mercy.  He consented to call in another person who then was commissioned to start drawing up the paperwork for a hearing.  Praise the Lord!  Because this other important person (some title in French I don't understand) was not in the office, all those other poor souls waiting for hours in the court room for their hearing were finally told to return next week.  After about 30 minutes, the President delegated his responsibility over to one of his judges (the President is a judge, too, but he also has administrative responsibilities to attend to).  So all the paperwork was ready and the court room was all ours for a special hearing ordained and called by the President of the Tribunal. 
 
The courtroom is a bit intimidating.  A HUGE room, non-air-conditioned, with rows and rows of hard wooden benches (like church pews...no padding).  As we assembled, the formalities began as the judge, yes even decked out in his black judge robe, comes in from the far left corner of the court room and sits at his elevated table.  He pounds his gavel (sorry to any lawyer readers who know more official terms here) and the proceeding begins.  Ega is asked for his presence and Ega raises his hand.  Since Ega is crippled, the judge was nice enough to allow Ega to remain in his pew to answer the questions.  We are in Lokossa which has alot of Aja speakers, but is also blended town with several African languages.  And at the Tribunal, everything official (such as our hearing) is conducted in the official language of Benin, French.  So with the help of a translator (the judge seemed rather perturbed that Ega nor any of his witnesses knew French), Ega was able to answer all the questions asked of him.  Then each of Ega's three family witnesses (2 paternal and 1 maternal) were brought up one by one to testify to their relation with Ega and Ega's identity. 
 
Those of you who know the story understand this to be rather ironic since his identity on paper is the whole reason why we are having to sit through a court hearing in the first place (modifying his identity on paper to match the name his wife, Lokadi, gave to him on Lael's birth certificate...not his official name known by the state, but the name she thought was his, but in reality was his father's first name!)  If you live in Africa, you can understand the practice of knowing people by multiple names.  Sometimes you are referred to as the name given to you at birth, perhaps at the hospital.  Sometimes, you are called by your "family name" which is often some reference to your father or his side of the family.  Sometimes you might even have a Christian name or a baptismal name, which is the one alot of church people give, especially for those who practice infant baptism.  And you may even identify yourself differently in different situations because, for example, the audience to whom your speaking may need to know your family's name (so you call yourself Gosuvi..."go-soo-vee" which tells them that you are the son..."vi" in Aja...of Gosu).  Get it?  Ega's official name really is Fantodji Kokou Soizoun, yet people call him "Ega" (like a nickname).  His father's name was Gnanlin Soizoun (at least that's one name). 
 
But prior to her death, when Lael's birthmother was asked what her husband's name was, she mixed it all up and said, "Ega Gnanlin".  When we went to do Lael's birth certificate months ago, I asked him if that was his name.  He said, "well, the last name is really Soizoun, but that'll work." (it never occurred to either of us that this would create such a problem later on).    It wasn't until after Lael's certificate was finalized that Ega remembered that he had a birth certificate already done over 10 years ago.  On that certificate is the Fantodji Kokou Soizoun name.  He says he never remembers anyone calling him anything except Ega (his mother confirms that an uncle nicknamed him Ega when he was a small boy...Ega meaning "chief").  Anyway, hence the situation we are in.  The process over the past several months has been to get his certificate changed to reflect the name that is on Lael's birth certificate (Ega Gnanlin). 
 
Now before you all think this is nuts, know that this is a common practice in Africa.  And so the process began to change the name.  For whatever reason (I have my thoughts, but they are not always nice), it's taken months to get through to today.  But there we are...in the court room where the judge is asking all these witnesses to confirm Ega's identity as Ega Gnanlin.  Everyone there knew what Ega was having to do, so everyone said the right thing.  The judge drilled them on their relation to Ega and while the name thing got a little confusing, in the end, the judge accepted the testimony of all the witnesses! 
 
One final form has to be completed on Monday by the Tribunal and according to their word today (which sometimes does change without notice), the authorization will be decreed on Monday for Ega's birth certificate to be issued!  Now, it is my understanding that the Tribunal in Lokossa (about 30 minutes from us) will declare its authorization on Monday and that the county clerk's office here in Aplahoue will then have everything necessary to issue the certificate!  I can't tell you exactly when that will be, but after spending 5 hours with the bigwigs of Aplahoue (I say that somewhat in mockery which I know is not very Christian like, but please....these guys are like a circus)....they assured me yesterday that once Lokossa does its part (they of course but the entire blame for the delay on the Tribunal in Lokossa....the Tribunal points the figure in Aplahoue's direction), everything in Aplahoue is ready to go!  So we are hoping that maybe by Monday, or at least sometime early next week, we will finally have Ega's new birth certificate!!
 
To review, once we have finally obtained Ega's certificate, we can then proceed to the Notary back in Lokossa who receives Ega's written consent for us to adopt Lael.  The Notary naturally requires some form of identification for the father of a child to consent to giving up his child (only natural).  Now that we are close to having it, we will soon be able to schedule a meeting with the Notary in the next couple of weeks and the Notary will draw up the consent papers.  Once signed, it has to be delivered to Cotonou (the capital) where official "consent to adopt" papers are drawn up with Ega's and our information.  Supposedly after 3 weeks, the official consent form is returned to the Notary in Lokossa where all of us will sign it.  With that, we will then be able to proceed, with the help of an U.S.Embassy-approved lawyer, back to the Tribunal in Lokossa where we will have a hearing of our own.  We will first petition the courts to accept our appeal to adopt Lael.  While the law says that the parents wanting to adopt should not have children (this is written to protect from child trafficking which is prevalent in Africa, especially in Benin), an exception is written into the law.  We will appeal first to be permitted under that exception clause after demonstrating our story to the judge.  The lawyer feels confident that the judge will understand the situation and have no trouble granting the exception.  According to the lawyer's words months ago, we would then immediately (same hearing) present our second request...the request to be granted full adoption rights for Lael (having already obtained the father's consent for such).  If all our ducks are in a row (we are asking all along the way if there are other things we can have ready to present to the judge as supporting evidence), theoretically, the judge could even grant the request the very same day. 
 
It's hard...any of you who have followed this saga....to imagine anything happening quickly here.  The lawyer says it shouldn't take that long, but time is relative here in Africa!  At this point in time, I'm hesitant to say whether it'll be one month, two months or much more before all of this part is finished.  Once we have fully adopted Lael according to Benin law, we will proceed with all the necessary steps imagining her coming to America (that's a whole other list of steps!) 
 
Thank you all so much for praying....we are confident that patience and perseverance will pay off.  We desire to maintain a positive witness for Christ through all the proceedings and even in all the frustrations, while also demonstrating nothing less than unending love for Ega and Lael.....nothing, even on the most frustrating days, could make us change OUR mind about adopting Lael!  We want Ega to always know that we will go to all lengths for her and even endure a whole lot of frustrations on her behalf!  I don't think he would ever doubt our love for him or her, but we feel it is our witness to Ega, the local church here, and Ega's larger extended family that we will go to any and every effort to give her every right and privilege of being a Vaughn!  He wants that and that's why he asked us almost one year ago to take Lael into our home! 
 
As we look to celebrating Lael's first birthday on Tuesday (18th), I am always reminded, too, of the following Sunday (23rd)...the day Lael's birthmother passed from this life.  Ega still grieves her loss (evident when he was recounting the story of her death to Greg and Melanie Bailey just the other day).  So even as the excitement of making steps toward Lael's adoption increases, none of us want to miss the moments over the next week or so to remember the pain of Lokadi's death a year ago.  Lael is in our home now and every day we labor on behalf of her adoption BECAUSE her birthmother is no longer alive.  We do celebrate Lokadi's victorious reward in heaven because she was a believer!  We ask you to continue praying with us through the days and months ahead for Kadi Lael's adoption!  (Kadi is pronounced like Katy in English but derives from her mother's first name....well, at least ONE of her names!)
 
Keep interceding!
 
-Randy

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Not just any girl could do this!!! These are girls that have lived in Africa! Posted by Picasa
Tori and Bensha showing the girls around...the room just in front of where Hope is standing is where Laurance, Ben, and Bensha live in Azove Posted by Picasa
Sweet Bensha popped her head in for a visit while the girls were getting measured for dresses Posted by Picasa
Christophe (Laurance's Dad) used to work for the Baileys. He came to visit them yesterday and told them he wanted to have African outfits made for their entire family. Today we took the girls to get their measurements. This picture shows Hope looking a little uncertain , yet she was having a good time! Posted by Picasa
Jessica's turn Posted by Picasa
Faith getting measured for her dress Posted by Picasa
The Indians....You can tell the difference because their hair is braided!! This morning was a loud game of Cowboys and Indians. Posted by Picasa
The Cowboys Posted by Picasa
Rough Tough Cowboy Timo Posted by Picasa
Timothy loves to eat his mango Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Randy's Thoughts Today

Tori is such a people person…makes friends easily.  It doesn’t matter if they are Aja or American.  It is sweet to see.  She’s had a bad sore throat this week and yet she plays as hard as ever whenever there are friends around.  She is having a blast with the Bailey girls!

Timothy’s favorite phrase is “I’m gonna give your bottom a whoopin” (learned that from the Little House on the Prairie DVDs we watch).  Also he loves to say, “I don’t wanna take a nap. My tummy hurts.”  Every day.  Every day that tummy hurts at the exact same time.  He also is having a great time with the Bailey girls here, although sometimes feeling a little left out as well. He is a tough guy though and he is hanging in there!

Jonathan has the cutest countenance when he wakes up from his nap.  His first real phrase in his life that I understand is “n gbogbo”  (it’s an Aja phrase….just guess on the pronunciation…starts with “un” and the double “gbo” sounds like bow as in bowtie).  It means “I’m coming”.  He’s learned it when he cries out to Laurance who works in our home and is often the one who gets him up out of his crib after his nap (whenever Kelly is still in school with Tori and I’m working).  That’s what she keeps saying to him until she has a free hand and can pick him up.  

Lael is almost ready to take her first step.  She is so tranquil!  You can walk into the kitchen where she is in her highchair and yes, bad Dad I am, walk right past her without even noticing her.  She is just sitting there with a sweet smile on her face.  The adoption process is a slow go here in Benin…requires much patience!  It’s hard to do the “be still and know” thing….seems like we should be out there doing more to “make things happen”!  But in all reality, our most peace comes when we just relax and remind ourselves of how God clearly set her in our home almost one year ago. The adoption is just the formality on this earth.  It’s already sealed in heaven. We get to celebrate her 1st Birthday at the beach next Tuesday (July 18th).  

It’s good to debrief painful and stressful experiences with friends about 5 years after such experiences happened.  It’s healing and so much more productive than when you are operating in self-preservation mode and not acting like the good friends you know you are.  

Last week, I wasn’t even thinking that I might have eaten too much and might have gained some weight.  Wasn’t even thinking about it…ooops, then  I checked the scales and wow I gained 4 pounds in a matter of days.  Then this week, I was certain of the amount of my consumption exceeded my exercise (none) and was feeling that feeling of having eaten too much…so I checked and I, in fact, had lost 3 pounds.  Interesting. Proposed Theory = think a lot about your weight and then eat a lot and you’ll lose weight. ?  Maybe I’ll go back to the lab to test that theory before I write my new book on weight loss.

A few years ago, I was trying to get a phone line brought to our house (we live out in the bush about 2 miles from town).  This same man I would hound over and over at the local phone company…every month he would shake his head in regret when I walked in.  Then one day it was different.  I pulled up and he ran outside to greet me.  He was so excited that the phone was ready!  In his exurberance, and in a traditional greeting inspired by those very non-American-European types, he kisses me on alternating cheeks then plants one on my lips!  Yikes!  Well, today, I was in the same town for other business and guess who I see?  I wanted to run the other direction.  I quickly shook his hand (very American like) and he pulled me close and started that European kissing thing…but I held firm and made sure of no lip contact.  Done that once.  Enough.  Thanks.

The Lord is good to bring peace to my heart when it is racing inside because of stress, frustration and fatigue.  This morning I was feeling all of that and my flesh was wanting its way.  I was crying out to our Mighty God and even telling him what my flesh was wanting.  Just trying to be honest with my Father (do you do that?)  I feels funny to be that honest with God…telling him what I’m tempted to do.  Sparing no details.  But I feel like it’s part of the spiritual warfare…talking to God about it in the context of Light rather than playing with fire in the secrecy of darkness.  We are always encouraged to share these things with accountability partners…so why not with God, too!  It works, too.  When we confess our sins, and I believe as well our temptations, God is faithful to forgive and faithful to rescue our spiraling thoughts and lift them up to bring Him glory.  Hope you can do that today when the enemy comes with his flaming arrows.

Just some random thoughts…

-Randy

Greg and Randy .........This was taken just before they left to go and visit some of the villages where Greg use to work...Every day since they arrived, there has been a steady stream of people that love them coming to visit them...We and many others are so thankful that they have come back to Benin for this visit! Posted by Picasa
Melanie and I are having such a sweet time. The Lord is so sweet to bring this dear family to us right now....I am praying that the time will not go by too fast. God is good! Posted by Picasa
Tori and Faith..............I just cannot express enough how precious it is to have these sweet girls here...this is the sweetest blessing for Tori....words are not enough!!! Posted by Picasa