Remembering Mom-o

A year ago this week, Tori, Jonathan, and myself (Kelly) made a quick trip to America to join my family in gathering around my grandmother in her last days. I wrote in my journal that it was one of the most holy weeks that I have ever experienced. For one week, my grandmother, Val Cardwell, was surrounded by her 3 daughters and their husbands, and at one time or another all of her grandchildren. These were moments that brought out the best in everyone as we replayed a lifetime of memories through laughter and tears, read Scripture over her, spoke words of love and blessing to her, held her hands and stroked her arms, ever watching her at her bedside until she passed from this life to the next. Oh Lord, I treasure those moments! Thank you for letting me be there to share in that time with my family and my grandmother.

Over the past year I have been absorbing what took place that week. My grandmother lived a full life and she lived with purpose and influence. I miss her.

Two months ago, I became very sick. I had malaria and a severe bacterial infection. During this time I was taking very strong medication that was causing me to have terrible dreams. Night after night I would wake up calling on the name of the Lord to come and help me. After several restless nights I prayed a different prayer. “Lord, if my mind is going to take me somewhere tonight, would you please come and take me to a pleasant place.” I heard him say in my heart, “Yes my child.” What followed was one of the sweetest things that the Lord has ever done for me.

Instantly I dreamt that I was my little 2-year old toddling self walking in the door of my Grandmother’s house. As I walked in the house into their front bedroom, my eyes went up to see a large picture of myself on the wall… “Ahhh there is Baby Teddy!” (that is what I called myself at the time.) My grandmother bent down and scooped me up and began to smother my face with kisses. I was so happy to see her. From that day on, her affectionate name for me was Teddy or Ted!

Detailed memories of times with Mom-o, almost as if I were watching a movie, carried me through the entire night.

At one point I was sitting on a stool at her kitchen counter helping her make Christmas cookies. Mom-o was a great cook. I think she is responsible for instilling in me an absolute love for everything Christmas. She loved baking cookies and making beautiful Christmas candies. She also decorated for Christmas in every single room and left the Christmas lights on all night long. I remember lying in the bed in the middle room and thrilling at the twinkling lights throughout the house. Mom-o and Pop-o always took me shopping every Christmas. We would pick out a new outfit and a Christmas ornament.

Another memory that came to mind was the joy and laughter that was everyone’s experience that entered her home. In my mind’s eye I was seeing my parents playing dominos with my grandparents at the kitchen table. The scent of Whataburger suddenly entered the house. They cleared the table and began passing out hamburgers and French fries. They ate, cleaned up, and then pulled out the dominos again. All the time, talking and laughing while my sister and I were coming in and out of the room enjoying the security of such happy times.

Another memory was a time that Becky and I were laying in the twin beds in the middle room. Mom-o was sitting at her vanity table removing her make-up. Becky and I were watching her so intently and I remember thinking how glamorous she looked. She was taking off her make-up!! And she did so with such class! I would love to see that memory through an adult eye and see what she was really doing that made such a mundane activity capture my attention in such a positive way.

Another memory involved us going to eat at a cafeteria one evening with my parents and grandparents. I must have been feeling the confidence of her love for me because I looked up at her and said in my sweetest voice, “Mom-o, you can buy my dinner tonight.”

From the time I was very little I have memories of seeing Mom-o studying her Bible. She was a sought-after speaker and many times she was intensely preparing her lessons. I remember seeing her preparing her notes. When I would approach her while she was studying she would always gently explain to me the importance of being prepared when asked to give a presentation. Later I would hear people commenting on how effortlessly she delivered her lessons and I would know in my mind how much effort went into her preparation!!

Later when I was 5’8” and wearing a size 10 ½ shoe in the sixth grade I was feeling a little discouraged. There were no fun-looking kids shoes in that size and I was the tallest person by far in my class. She encouraged me that tall women have a lot of options when it comes to wearing fun clothes and she had some catalogs that had a larger selection of shoes to select from than I had been able to find in the stores. We were able to get me some fun shoes and I felt much better!

I used to love hearing Mom-o talk about falling in love with Pop-o. She must have repeated the story hundreds of times. My every memory of them involves them enjoying each other and speaking to each other in love. They were each other’s best friend and modeled for us all a faithful relationship full of romance. She definitely instilled in my heart at a young age that marriage was a grand idea.

Mom-o had a great sense of humor and was constantly giving people reasons to laugh. That was one of the reasons that she was a great speaker. She knew how to interject humor and how to tell stories and people were always on the edge of their seat as she spoke. She could also be very serious, especially when it came to the importance of good manners, dressing your best, and discussing the Word of God.

Throughout all my 34 years of knowing, loving and being loved by Mom-o, I always heard her voice say, “You know how much I love you!” Her love was never something that I had to question.

The Lord is faithful to answer us in times of need. He is our refuge and strength when we are weary. That night I was weary and fearful of going to sleep. I believe the Spirit prompted my request to go to a pleasant place in my thoughts. The Lord was ready to bless that request.

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. Psalm 130:1-2